I really do not have a problem with the "...everyone calls it that waycoach." comment.
Not the best choice of words but not really a big deal.
"No coach talks to me that way..." That is the one that probably started the trouble.
Now my question is how did you "T" him up?
Did you stick him with a - big production number - loud whistle - full wind up and follow through right in his face - so that even the guy in the Bob Ucher seats had no doubt what you did?
Or did you give it to him - calmly - low and slow - with a little tweet and signal - so that except for those actually watching you, nobody is sure what has happened?
how did you T the player? Big T little T?
I recall issuing a well deserved T in a womens NJCAA game last year, one the coach worked really hard to get, but the coach got under my skin and I stuck it to her, boy, I put that one together so well I almost broke a finger slamming that T at her.
After the game nobody said a word about the T itself - but the R on the game reamed me pretty good for sticking it in her face, as did the assigner, got me for $ 50.00 for doing it that way.
Now I always take a deep breath and bring it up low and slow, it is just a call, like any other call. No need to make a big deal out of it, If you have to give it, do it, just do it professionally.
keep us informed as to the outcome of this please.