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Old Wed Oct 30, 2002, 12:59am
rainmaker rainmaker is offline
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ewie--

Anybody that can ref JV at the age of 14, and write as well as you do, and spell everything correctly (except, "anyways") should be running for President! But there is a reason that the President has to be at least 35, rather than just a well-educated 16. The most important difference between you and any presidential candidate or senator, is the willingness to compromise.

I speak here from the vast, and very wise age of 46. I was the most idealistic and self-righteous 16 year old that ever walked the face of the earth. I knew how everyone ought to behave, and I never hesitated to tell them. The worst part about it was that I was usually right, and that drove everyone the craziest, including a teacher who committed suicide shortly after I humiliated him in front of the entire senior class. I was completely right in my psychoanalysis of him, and dead wrong in pointing it out so adamantly. At 46, I realize how horrible I really was acting.

You are, unfortunately, in a similar situation, although I hope with less serious consequences. Of course, you were probably right in saying that you thought you didn't do that bending thing. And of course you were absolutely right that he shouldn't have yelled at you, shouldn't have said shut up, and shouldn't have tried to deliberately belittled you.

But you need to also realize that pointing it out to him, yet again, will accomplish absolutely nothing positive. It would be so nice if people like this would receive a letter like this, and respond, "Wow, I never realized how people saw me. I appreciate your pointing it out. Is there anything else I need to work on?" It just doesn't happen. All you'll do is make him madder, and hurt your career. If he's really that much of a jerk, and I don't doubt that he is, others see it too, and his outburst will not really affect how they think of you. You might just gain some standing if you simply ignore the incident, and never, ever say anything bad about him. Other refs will like you more if they think you never say anything bad about anyone.
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