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For what it's worth I did find a web site that contains a US Flag Manual -it's done by the Military Salute Project. It covers the wearing of flag patches and pins, but does not have any discussion of whether a white border or gold border is preferred. However it does have pictures of flag patches which are "officially authorized reditions of the the US Flag" and "have precedence over all othe patches and pins" and all of those pictured have gold borders.
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