CMHCoachNRef
I agree with you about if I get a call wrong - by rule not judgement that one should fix it and eat your crow.
however - If the coach knows you're wrong he will know why should be able to make their case w/o the book. If not getting the book out isn't going to help.
I encourage coaches to become rules savay, know them and call us out when in the rare occasions we kick one, but do it in a professional manner.
Think of it this way, If I make a call in a game and the coach says "you are wrong", I pull out a rule book and show him in the rule book where he is actually wrong.
(I have this dream often) 
Would that be appropriate behavior for me as an official?
Would I not be showing disrespect to the coach by showing it to him in the book in front of the whole place?
I can see a letter of reprimand going in my file for that one!
The coach isn't supposed to be the expert on the floor, so how much worse is it actually for a coach to pull out a book (even calmly) and try to show up the official with the rule book in hand?
Mind you rarely would this conversation be done in a totally calm manner, also think about how many ways we as officals on this board can read a rule and come up with something different, now we are going to add the coaches interpretation into it.
Book on bench bad thing!
Book in ref's pocket bad thing!