First off, welcome skeeter! I too was in the same boat. Been watching around then finally came to sign up. I too have a love of the game but I too know there are a lot of things that I need to improve on. And if you haven't noticed, I am only 17 years of age. So I have a little time to improve. Heck, I can't even do middle school games yet...I'm stuck with Church Leagues, Rec Leagues, etc. So I think I can offer you a little advice.
Church leagues can be rough. However, the one thing that I learned is that normally the person in charge of the league will protect you. And I don't mean from physical harm, but in the sense he will back you up. So my first step would to develop some sort of relationship with the leader of the program. The next thing I would do is to ensure that I have a strong pregame speech. If needed, have a speech with just the coaches, then invite the players for the normal pregame.
Doing that will help set the ground rules. Also, another thing that you want to do is establish a relationship with the coaches. Don't come on like a hardass, but they too need to know that you are the official of the game. If you guys talk outside the game about anything, football, basketball, anything, it normally helps out a little. Do the same for the kids. If you are waiting to do a game and sitting in the stands, don't be afraid to talk to them. A lot of officials do that here and some how it works out well. I mean, they know them both on and off the court. And they too know that when they are on the court, he has to call his game, but the kids too know that they wont get away with a lot because you have a relationship and that you know you may be watched more than the others.
So that's something to keep in mind. My advice is to let them play the game within the rules! hahaha...not trying to be a smartass, but let them play a little. I like to call my games a little loose yet tight. Meaning that if they barely got hit on the arm and the shot goes in, I'm not calling it. But if they go for a layup and their is collision, you need to call it. I hope you know what I mean...let them play, dont be real tight, yet make sure its within the rules.
Overall, communication is important. Talk things out. If a coach is yelling, give him a warning, gently. Like, "alright coach, that's enough". If he keeps it up, give him a firm warning "That's Enough!" then if he continues, T him up. Make sure he sits down, then resume game.
Hope that helps. It works for the two church leagues I referee. PM me if you need more advice on this.
Take care and good luck!
-Lucas