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In general, I think an official should handle his own stuff. An example is the coach's first yell in the OP, "I wasn't talking to you!" That's a T if she's yelling it to me, but I probably won't get involved if she's talking to my partner and he chooses not to get involved. I might be more inclined to jump in if my partner is in his first two years at the level we're working.
OTOH, the threat gets my flagrant every time, regardless if it's to me or a partner.
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