Bob, totally agree about fans. The louder they are, the less they know about the rules.
This was a middle school game that my daughter was playing in, so Fed rules would apply in Indiana.
I coached middle school ball for 15 years, had the same pool of refs for most of that. I would go seasons without questioning a call from these guys. I realized hundreds of judgements were going on at once on every play.
So when I did question a call, because I wasn't always on them, they always came over and really discussed the play with me, let me make my point, and often times agreed with me, too late of course

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The other thing that really helped me were 2 phrases, Legal Guarding Position and Advantage / Disadvantage. Usually when I discussed calls with that terminology, the ref knew I knew what I was talking about. As opposed to the screamer at the other bench calling for an "over the back".