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Add the following to your pre-game speech:
1. "Gentlemen, this is a basketball..."
2. Point to one of the captains. Say, "for purposes of this game, you will be mauve." Point to the other captain, and say, "You will be chartreuse." Use those colors when calling fouls, violations, etc. Doesn't matter the jersey colors.
3. "Gentlemen, new league rule. The captain of each team must wear his jersey backwards to more easily identify them." Make the kids adjust their jerseys (boys only, of course). Make them go back to the team huddle like that.
4. Have a coin toss. Ask the winner if he wants to kick or receive.
5. Have a yellow flag in your pocket. Tell the kids, in addition to blowing your whistle on fouls, you will be throwing a flag. Blow your nose in it. Alternatively, use a magician's scarf.
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If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.
- Catherine Aird
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