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The commish or assignor needs to know right away.
This is not something to be handled "man to man." Because in the end it isnt about you and him. Its about him understanding his obligations to the association--which isnt between you and him. He has to set an example. The other parents know he is a ref--and certainly the clock, book and coaches know it. It undermines confidence in the association and in all the refs. On top of being totally unprofessional. Dont confuse this as a problem between two officials.
I dont know about tossing him. I had this happen once and at half time I came out a minute early and mosey'd over to him with a smile on my face to "say hi" (or so he thought) and asked if he could ramp it down a notch with a smile. At first he started to balk and I told him that my only other option was to ask the game manager ot have him leave and I didnt want to do that (though I think he got my point that I would have done that). He got the message and cut it out. He said sorry. I did it as discreetly as a guy in a striped shirt can do it. I tried to make it seem like it didnt bother me in the least. I appreciate that isnt always possible--you dont know the guy well or he is sitting way up in the stands or whatever. Whatever you do, I wouldnt make a show of it. That's why I dont like the obvious toss.
But the assignor needs to know. THEN I would talk to the guy (if you want to talk to him) and say, "hey listen, you put me in a spot at that game. I felt I had to talk to XXX about that stuff, since it impacts our relations with coaches and the book and clock operators to see stuff like that. I appreciate you cut it out but we gotta be together on this stuff." He was chilly to me for the rest of the season. But the start of the next season he came up to me and appologized and said I had done the right thing. I had the travel on a game where he had the game before mine just Friday. All was good.
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