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Wow, there are a couple of things worth discussing, but Case Book plays are not on the list. In the TD situation you are correct, the scoring team has the additional options of accepting the score and a choice of accepting the penalty on the try or the subsequent KO.
Clearly your Referee wasn't aware, or possibly forgot, that recent major rule revision. You could reference the Case Book, if you thought it would help, but quoting chapter and verse likely wouldn't help, at least at that moment. The only suggestion, for avoiding such a response in the future, is to consider how you approached the referee with the information. If you immediately pulled him aside and explained quietly that it was your understand that the rule has recently been revised to provide..........., you've done your job.
If a Referee decides to reject or ignore your information, that's entirely on him. You might renew the discussion at the half, or after the game where the added detail might be helpful, but if he still rejects it, you're only response may be to reconsider future assignments with this person.
On the "comment" issue, again your rule interpretation is correct, and the Referee has no authority or jurisdiction to reclassify any foul you call, unless you are applying a rule incorrectly. However, at times discretion ca be the better part of valor.
Assuming "freaking" is a substitute for the actual word chosen, the USC penalty is not (at least by NFHS rule) an automatic disqualification. That's a decision you, as the calling official, get to make. In consideration of the age of the player, a more supportive referee may have chosen to provide a more detailed explanation of the incident to the offending player's coach allowing hime the opportunity to deal withe player and also consider the consequences of his yelling at his players from across the field.
the 15 yard penalty is the proper assessment for the USC, and it should be marked off prior to setting the chains and declaring the ball RFP, producing a 1st and 10 situation from the succeeding spot.
To your original question, providing informative details and backup is only important if the person you're talking to has some intention to listen to what you are saying. The referee's behavior, in front of either coach, is indefensible which, again, might give you pause to accepting further assignments with him.
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