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Let me take care of some house keeping first:
To Pete Booth
Maybe that is how it is in your area or the Adult Leagues that you know. But extrapolating that out to my situation seems too much of a blanket template to start all adult league situations with. Why not just take what I said at the start to be true, because it is. The league is comprised mainly of men who are content to get away from the family for a Sunday morning double header, have a couple of beers in the parking lot after the game with some sandwiches, and go home. Most of them are totally relaxed, having been around baseball most of their lives, at levels a lot more important than an over 30 league. They, on the whole, don't flip a s*** when something doesn't go their way.
Sure, there are usual suspects, but every league, adult, youth, HS, softball, badminton has those. But don't read every situation thinking it is like one that could happen at your local field just because they are both adult leagues.
Okay, now to the important stuff....
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First off,
I hinted at this in my OP on the other thread, where I could have gone wrong was when I replied back to him the 2nd time the same way. It turned it into a pissing contest. Originally, I thought perhaps he didn't hear me the first time, as I was speaking softly and calmly, a little bit below his own level. Looking back on it, this just turned it into, as I said, a pissing contest.
I here what you guys are saying, it is something that I learned a great deal about at a basketball clinic several months ago. Let them know you're listening.
I guess some of the reason why I didn't utilize this technique was because it was a player. At that clinic, we talked about coaches (in basketball). How does this technique transfer to a player? Its something I haven't been trained in, and don't know anything about. Surely, it can't be the same.
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Second off,
I do realize that I turned it into a pissing contest. I messed that part up pretty good. Obviously, it didn't turn out well. Hindsight is 20/20, maybe its better that he blew his fuse so I know what NOT to do next time. Just adds to my game management experience.
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Third off,
Those who, in the other thread, hinted that they would just ignore a scream at you at a player's top of his lungs (vicious screaming, neck muscles tensing up, I mean, REALLY coming at you), wow. I believe my EJ to be a good one in penalizing unsportsmanlike behavior and keeping decorum, I did from the start. My OP was looking for info on, overall, what I could have done different. Thanks to those who have responded.
Perhaps not the best EJ because I had to do it though, as has been pointed out in the thread. But once it got to that point, we all agree that the booger needs to be picked, yes?
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In closing, so I can continue to learn from the thread.
1) How does the idea of "letting them know they're being heard" differ between a player and a manager? What are some possible conversations that need to go different ways, and at what time, because somebody is a player as opposed to a coach?
Thanks
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