Quote:
|
Originally Posted by tcarilli
Resist force with similar force. An arrow thrown at my head does not require a nuclear bomb be dropped on the thrower. Again, in Tuss's situation if you think there is a need to respond why not try just holding up your hand in the stop sign so that he knows you heard him?
I think most comments directed at umpires need to be addressed in some fashion. I liken it to the situation where a parent is on the phone and the child wants to speak to the parent. "Mom." says the child. If the parent ignores the child "MOm!" escalates the child. If the parent ignores again, "MOM!" shouts the child. If the parent ignores again, "MOM!!!MOM!!!" yells the child. At some point the parent yells back and we have a mess. If the parent lets the child know she heard him the first time, the kid typically goes away for a while. He may come back but it will not be to yell the second time. Start the process again. Participants are a lot like kids, sometimes that just want you to know that you heard them. If you address it early, it usually won't escalate. If it does, then you have run people.
If they know you can hear them, the generally don't bother you as much. There is a reason they are loud enough for you to hear them...because they want you to hear them. If you ignore them, they only get louder to assure themselves that you can hear them. If you continuously ignore them, they will get louder until you've let them know you've heard them or your sh!t splatters on your partner.
|
Indeed! That is the most common thing I hear from coaches and players about how "discussions" are handled. They feel that they are not heard. They feel that the umpire feels "above" them shown by the ump not saying anything about their complaint.
Ignoring the complaint usually just makes things worse. You don't have to agree with their argument to simply say something like "I heard ya. Let's go.", or, "I hear what you are saying but........". Deflector statements. They acknowledge that you actually LISTENED to them without you having to agree. They also are never confused with arguing. Most of the time, no more needs to be said. If they do continue to yell, you can simply say "Hey, if you could lower your voice we can talk about it". NOW you seem approachable, and you have a chance to explain what you saw. If they continue to yell, you can say "If you stop yelling at me, you can stay in the game. If you continue, I will do something about it". If they continue, toss 'em. You have given them a chance to cool down, and if you did have to toss them, the ejection report writes itself, and you look totally like the person that was in charge, approachable, and just. You have NOTHING to lose by giving them a chance to settle down and only gain their respect.
Or....you can look like a hot head that nobody can talk to, with the quick trigger. THAT will certainly get you a lot of respect and the big games!
