First, I should say that I remain a very competitive individual and want to win games. I try conscientiously to maintain self control, especially with regard to officiating for a couple of reasons. For one thing, I have to get a team to perform regardless of what the conditions are, refereeing being a condition of play. If my players don't think the refs are calling fouls right, they need to adjust. I try to get this concept across to my team, and yelling at the refs doesn't help make that case. It just gives players an excuse for losing (remember that I am still competitive at heart!). I will admit to getting frustrated with poor refereeing (and poor play and even my poor coaching), but I don't get into a conflict with the referees because that isn't appropriate for me, and my players shouldn't see that from an adult leader, a more important reason for maintaining self control. Final reason is that I have done the ref job in scrimmages and other friendly competitions where my players begin to get mad at my no-calls and calls. I know how tough your job is and if you all quit because of me, I am gonna have to do it!
I try not to complain about individual calls, but won't claim perfection. I even felt bad this summer about one incident. My guard got called for a backcourt when he only had one foot cross the line then brought that foot back on the dribble. I said to the ref "it takes all three" and he looked shocked, said "you are right" and reversed himself. I was glad the call was corrected, but I felt bad when he was admitting he had made a mistake because he looked so uncomfortable.
On sportmanship awards - GREAT IDEA!!! Our youth soccer club in Montgomery County MD, with 15,000 participants, does have such an award, given to one team in each division (and with this many kids playing, that's a lot of awards). The referee fills out a card for each game, that in addition to listing conference, team, coaches, and scores, has a rating for player, coach, and parent sportsmanship. Pretty simple, three ratings on a 1-5 scale for each team. Also, coaches can give positive input for their colleagues for the award.
Each team that wins the award gets a sportsmanship award patch for every player. I got one and am as proud of it as my championship awards (which I also take pride in, especially since I refuse to break rules or compromise my players' interest just to win a championship).
The soccer league has done so much to promote sportsmanship that many people take it very seriously, much more so than in other leagues where I have coached. I had one coach that was winning his first game ever against my team in 7 v 7. He allowed us an extra player on the field for the second half because they were up 5-0 (I know I would not have thought to do that on my own if I was up 5-0!). I played with that extra player until we cut the margin to two goals. We ended up with our first multiple goal game (this was a brand new team playing in an experienced league) and our team gained some confidence. Two seasons later we were league champs, with an assist to that coach (I gave back by giving him a strong plug for the sportmanship award and he justifiably won it).
I highly encourage sportmanship recognition and active promotion of sportsmanship. It will take a lot of time to show results and will have diminished effects depending on the competitive level of play. The higher the stakes competitively, the less likely coaches, players and parents are to pay attention to any sportsmanship pleas from leagues. But if a huge league can pull it off and see improvement, anybody can.
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