I believe, as a coach, that the ref has to put themselves above the situation and be the voice of reason. I enjoy the Dave-isms as cute jokes, but don't think they should be employed in a game environment. Take what you think you should take, communicate what you need to communicate, and if all else fails, go to the T. Then go right back to taking it and communicating calmly. The best refs I have had are the ones that keep above the level of the talk that is directed their way. I am sure there are coaches who respect no refs. I also beleive that the refs who can stay out of the fray and call a good game with a cool head have the respect of almost every coach, regardless of what you may hear from them in the heat of battle.
Parting thought - A referee's authority is established by law in the rules, but in acutality by comportment on the court. The ref is the only neutral party on the court, with no competitive interest. Exchanging witticisms with a coach becomes a competition in and of itself and ultimately degrades the neutral authority of the referee. I am not suggesting that their objectivity is compromised, but a refs de facto authority comes from the appearance of objectivity. Lose that appearance and you lose respect and the authority that goes with it.
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