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Originally Posted by Mwanr1
Tommy,
You got way too confrontational with the players, especially when these are 9th graders for AAU ball. If they mouth off at each other, whack both of them. Their 1st T is their first warning. I'd like what BadNewsRef said, say it loudly to your partner "Watch #24 and #???"(whoever #24 was talking to). This would usually alarm them to play ball rather talk. If they cross the line of sportsmanship again, then whack them but use your T wisely and make sure it is a good one. You are always doing the right thing by issuing deserved T's despite of what fan/coaches/players think.
At camps, assignors/coordinators/observers like to see guys who can manage the game, especially at the higher level. Don't tolerate BS, take care of it! If you can't handle 9th graders, what makes your college assignors think you can handle young adults at the JC or higher level? The whole thing about these are 9th graders and you don't work this level is BS - I know you can do better than that.
Call your assignors tonight (after supper when he's relaxed and comfy) and chat briefly with him how the tournament went. Don't bring up why he pulled you off the game. He did it for a reason so let it be. Just let him know you are there to assist him for future tournaments and if you do this, chances are you'll gain more respect from him.
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mwanr1 makes a good point. you have to manage the game here. I understand your hesitance(sp?) to throw, what sounds to be, the best player on the floor out. It's hard to do, but think about the next guy that has to ref him... what kind of box are you putting him in? even kobe gets tossed every once in a while... I will piggyback off what badnewsref has already said, if it is just 24 you are problem with, you announce that you have had enough and that if he says anything else you are ejecting him, while also announcing it loud enough to your partners where not only they hear you but the coaches, and if you are lucky, the fans can here you as well so when you toss him everyone in the gym is like, "dang the ref told him not to say anything else". You can also put a little acting job in there as well. after you blow the whistle to eject the kid add some more verbage like, "you can't say that to me" or "that's too much" or "I've already warned you" and then announce the T and the ejection.
To backtrack a bit, when you tell 24 you've had enough and announce it loudly try not to do it in a demeaning way. I don't know how to explain it really but most people know when they've done something in a demeaning way. Like I've seen refs warn coaches before and I have seen it look like the ref was demeaning and showing up the coach and i've also seen it where it looked like nothing more was going on then the coach was just being warned and nothing else was happening. That is what you are striving for. You want it to appear that you are in full control of the situation but that you are not overbearing and abrasive, if that makes sense.