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1) As long as the batter is in the box, I wouldn't tell him where or how to stand.
2) There's a rule requiring the batter to be in the box, so marking the box (esp. at the lower levels) is sometimes required.
3) I have told batters to back off the plate when the feet are too close to the plate -- but never the hands
4) There is a specific rule (at least in FED and NCAA) that the on-deck batter needs to be in the proper spot, not near the plate. So, you were right to move him back. That, though, cannot be extended to the OP
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