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Originally Posted by Mark Padgett
Not a criticism - just want to point out the sometimes toughness and empathy can be at odds with each other. Finding the "right" balance can be a real challenge.
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You are 100% correct, Mark, as usual. They can conflict and cause problems when they do. However, when I was able to understand how the coaches and players view officials, both from the big perspective and on individual calls, it made a huge difference. No different than being a parent, you need the people skills to make your points in the right way. To me, once you have good judgment, the whole key to officiating is knowing how to communicate with partners, coaches, and players to make the game right and enjoyable for everyone. Sometimes you have to be like a parent to the players, sometimes like a spouse to the coaches, and sometimes actually be a prison warden to all of them. That balance is what the truly great ones find. I look for it every game, even "wreck" ball.
Empathy also helps in working with your partners. Nobody has the same philosophies or judgment, but if you can understand were they come from, it's really easy to work with everyone. Nobody goes out to try and do things wrong.