[ozzy6900]

We had a play tonight that has me puzzled, and I hope you can help. Our team was in the field, and a batter for the opposing team hits a clean double to the outfield. While he was on his way to second, my first baseman tells me he missed first base. The ball is now dead...

You show nothing here where the ball became dead! The ball was not thrown out of play and the umpires did not call time (as far as your post is concerned). So all you have to do here is have anyone get the ball to F1 and have F1 make the appeal.

I directed my pitcher to stand on the rubber, with ball in hand, and call timeout. I then explain to the umpire the team wants to appeal the runner who missed first base. I direct my pitcher to throw the ball to first base, and my first baseman touches first base.

The ball has to be "live" in order for an appeal to be made. Only FED (high school) rules allow a "dead ball appeal" (as of FED rule changes 2002). You were incorrect in having the pitcher call time (under LL or OBR rules) and the umpires were incorrect in allowing the appeal under a dead ball.

Then, the opposing manager consults with the umpire, telling him that the appeal is invalid, because I was directing the kids on how to do the appeal, and I was the one that told the umpire what we are doing.

As far as directing the players, that is what a manager is supposed to do! One fault was that F1 did not state the appeal to the umpire (I did not see F1 making the appeal in your post). As far as you stating to the umpire what your team's intentions were, so what! At this level, all you did was inform the umpires (who are probably rookies with less than 5 years) what was happening. Unfortunately, it is F1's duty (in this instance) to make it clear to the umpire that your team is appealing the runner missing first base. Just throwing to the base is not a valid appeal.

I officiate from high school to adult and the base running appeal is somewhat rare. Even at these levels, managers direct the players through the appeals. Just remember that unless the ball went out of play or the umpires called time, there is no need to get the pitcher involved. You are chancing a balk every time F1 gets involved. If time was called or the ball went out of play, then F1 has to get involved and the umpire has to make the ball live again. Then F1 can step off and throw to F3 and the appeal can be made.