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Originally Posted by refaz
Good technical.
However, coaches are just as much A-type personalities as refs. If they get the last word sometimes - who cares? Let it go. I do (at least I try to).
Also note, assistants often become head coaches. I treat them all with respect (so long as they reciprocate).
You should look at this as a learning opportunity rather than getting a pat on the back. You're reffing a tight game that both teams want to win. Then you tell the coach to do something "or else" - this is a challenge. Now, he should have heeded this warning. But it's not all that surprising that given how you handled it - he challenged back. Try using different words with the coach that don't include an ultimatum. "Coach, help me out with your bench/assistants please."
All that said, his words warrant a technical. In the future you might be able to avoid it all and not have to start the overtime with a technical.
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"If you don't sit your worthless assistant down and shut him the hell up, neither one of you is going to be here to see the jump ball, let alone the end of the game."
That is an ultimatum.
"Coach, you need to get your assistant under control or he's going to cost you." is not an ultimatum. It is a simple statement of fact. It is also a courtesy to the head coach, allowing him to solve the problem without penalty. Now if the coach is too much of a beligerant *** to capitalize on that opportunity, well that's not the official's problem.
BTW, what would you have done, if in response to "Coach, help me out with your assistant, please." the coach responded, "Well, he's just telling the truth." Cuz my guess is that's exactly how he would have responded to your kinder, gentler, and sadly not suprerior way of handling this situation.