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My first "real" game, one of the coaches kept calling me by name. I found it incredibly distracting, but not being sure what protocal was, I never did anything about it. Later I asked our commissioner if it was to be expected. He said, no most coaches didn't do that, but it was also right of me not to whack the guy.
I think if I were you, I'd stick to "ref". You don't want the other coach to think there's something funny going on.
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