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I can understand this situation from both sides. There's a really good litmus test to use when evaluating your response's appropriateness objectively which is:
- Did the response fit the game/situation?
- Did the response help the game?
- Can your assignor/supervisor defend the response?
I think that this is a really good learning experience for you that I wish I had so early in my career. Games do not happen in a vaccum, and the schools are essentially "clients" of the assignor. More often than not, any game where Ts are thrown, the assignor will get a phone call from the coach where essentially your punitive action will be "put on trial." In this case, with the assignor there, it all happened at the gym and you saw the process. Clearly your responses failed the litmus test, so the best you can do is learn from the situation.
Did the assignor or the other varsity refs act appropriately? Not necessarily. I don't really think ripping a young ref at halftime about Ts is necessarily the best response, nor did it put you in a situation to learn from what happened. That part of it seemed rather self-serving to me, especially the other V ref throwing in his two cents about you "glorifying" yourself. I bet you had trouble moving on to the 2nd half of that game confidently.
My suggestion is to let the smoke clear a little bit and in the next couple of days, put in a phone call to the assignor, in a less emotional state, and ask him what he saw, and what he would've done in your shoes. If a tape is available, ask to maybe buy him a beer and watch the game tape with him so that you can learn from the game, and bottom line, listen to what he has to say, no arguing or defending. At the very least, try to get a copy of the tape yourself so that you can determine what led to this and what you can do better next time. It is from these type of events that we find out the most about ourselves and we can gain the most amount of improvement. Between now and then, think about what you could have done to handle the 1st T better, keeping in mind the litmus test and the idea that we shouldn't seek closure or the last word.
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