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Exactly. It's not always a fair system.
But I've been doing this for four years and I feel I've improved but I know I have a ton more to learn and more reps to get. If I get to do varsity next season, great. But I'm not expecting even that. Aiming? Sure. I aim to do my next game as well as I can.
But I learned long ago that you can't worry about what other people get that you don't get. Life isn't fair. Just do your best and it'll all work out.
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"And I'm not just some fan, I've refereed football and basketball in addition to all the baseball I've umpired. I've never made a call that horrible in my life in any sport."---Greatest. Official. Ever.
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