First of all....I would agree with either a yellow or red card in your situation. Hard to comment specifically without seeing how it all played out, attitudes displayed, etc. That being said, I wanted to comment on a few other parts of your post:
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Originally Posted by jmaellis
Last night I was the umpire during a V match. While observing the warm-ups I noticed player #11 on the visiting team had 3 or 4 cloth bracelets (friendship bands??) around her wrist. I told her to remove them.
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I never tell a player they must remove jewelry. I inform the player (or coach) that the player is not allowed on the floor while wearing the illegal equipment. That leaves the choice up to the player/coach. If they want to continue to wear the jewelry, they need to be off the floor, if they want to participate in the contest, they must remove the jewelry. It's their choice.
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Originally Posted by jmaellis
At the call for captains #11 shows up and has her wrist taped. I asked her if she just taped over the bracelets; she tells me that she did not. We go on with the meeting. after the meeting while I am briefing the scorekeeper and timer I notice #11 busily removing the bracelets from her wrist. R tells me that she checked the tape and felt the bracelets.
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I certainly hope your R is not feeling through taped areas on a player to check for jewelry, especially if it is a male R with female players. This is asking for trouble. We are instructed to ask if there is any jewelry under the tape and accept the answer at face value. If it turns out the player lies to us, we deal with it accordingly.
You, of course, are free to do as you please and administer your match in the way you are most comfortable and your assignor wants. These are just some random thoughts that you may or may not find useful.