since you brought it back up, i'll chime in again. one of the two guys you talked to had it right, the other was wrong. catchers in the game know that on a ball 4 situation they are at risk of throwing it away. almost every time the situation arises they will ask for a "quick one" from you before the pitch, meaning they would like you to let them know as soon as you can what the pitch is so they can hold up if they have to.
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