[bkbjones]

Oh...you should see it in person.

The Junior LLWS is just up the street in Kirkland, WA. An umpire I know is one of the persons on the crew. He is all smiles and says thanks to me for coming out, introduces me all around, tells everyone who I am (or used to be ...), we all exchange pleasantries.

I notice some unusual stuff for softball umpires...several are wearing patent leather shoes. Where I come from, you can wear those in two sports, baseball and basketball. Softball, no, never, ever.

Then I find out why from three different folks. Many of these guys put in for Williamsport or some other baseball WS. When they don't get selected for the baseball side, they have a kind regional commissioner who says, "Hey, ever been to the eastside of Seattle?"

I know many folks rail on the "robotics" of some softball umpires. However:

Umpire wearing beanie cap with no logo
Mask on tight as hell
Stance is feet barely shoulder width apart, directly over the top of the catcher
Knees bent about an inch (swear to God - I can get photos to prove it if necessary)

His strike call? Plop! in the glove. 1...2...3 Heeeeriiiiiiiike One with a head turn and a point with the index finger.

Strike two: same, but with two fingers spread apart.

Strike three, swinging or called, gets ya the bow and arrow. (I hate the bow and arrow, especially for kids. The paper tear I can sorta live with.)

Rotations? Ha ha ha. All these games til the finals are four-man.

No one on, no one out. Fly ball to CF. 2BU is on SS side of 2B in the grass. The ball is almost caught on a shoestring catch. Helluva play by the CF. These girls are busting their butts.

But not this space waster. He does a half turn, looks like he is looking for a stinking cow turd in a hay stack, and doesn't even give these girls, his fellow umpires or some sick pervert lurking in the bushes the benefit of a "no catch."

Then he turns back toward second, where the 3BU has come half-assed inside (actually in the baseline) and about halfway to 2B.

Fortunately, they both called the girl safe at second.

I can go on and on, and would be (unfortunately) happy to if asked. The thing is, if it's a softball world series, shouldn't they send softball umpires to do it? Qualified be damned - I've seen bad ones in some of our beloved ASA championship play. Let's just start with softball umpires first.