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Originally Posted by bkbjones
So....in my fourth game, Team A has R2 and R3, two outs. Batter drives ball to outfield for clean hit, R3 scores. R2 is easy out at HP in chase.
R2 decides to continue the discussion as he takes the field. Using foul and personal language, I ran him very calmly, no screaming, no theatrics.
I get the usual "WHAT?!?" with the hands thrown up, etc. I instruct him he should leave the field post haste and retreat to the parking lot. While he's gathering his gear his coach comes out and wants to discuss things further. While we are discussing, the former 1B shows up on the field with the TD.
I turn and ask the TD what I can do to help him. He informs me that I have to let the guy back in.
"Wait," I tell this loser. "You're the TD. I am the umpire. This is your tournament, but this is my game. He's ejected, and he has to leave."
"No," he says, finger in my face, "you have to let him back in."
"No, you don't understand," says moi. "He's gone. He's ejected."
"No," says this esteemed gentleman of softball. "You're ejected."
"Whaaaaaaat," says I.
"You're ejected," sez he. "I'll umpire the rest of the game."
"OK, sir, but you know you still owe me the game fee for this game AND the game fee for the next game for which I'm scheduled."
The rusty wheels are turning, right there behind the missing frontal lobe.
"Well, OK, one more chance," he says and starts walking off the field.
I look, and the 1B is still on the field.
"You still have to go," I tell him.
"No," says Mr. T-Head from just the other side of the fence. "He stays."
"Well, in that case, here are your game balls," sez I as I empty my ball bag and walk off the field.
We pass each other.
"Sir, at least one of us is leaving with his integrity intact," sez I, "and that would be me."
I go to my car, drive to the BBQ joint, and spend my game fee on some decent ribs — and decide that for Lent 2008, I'll give up slowpitch.
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