I would suggest that when you start out with your critique that you say something to the effect of:

Let's start with the stuff I had a problem with and end with the good stuff I have for you.

Contrary to popular belief, if you start with good stuff, then move on the bad stuff, all of the good stuff will be forgotten. If you actually care about these people getting better, have them leave the critique with all the good things they did that day in their mind, not leaving with everything they did wrong.

Also, the "mix it up" approach doesn't work so well either.

Just get the bad stuff out of the way, but make sure you tell them up front that you seen a lot of good things from them that you will get to after you talk about the things that were not so good. Believe me, people respond favorably to this approach and they will leave the meeting with a good impression of you.

I take different approaches to each person, depending upon how long they have been around, past experiences with them, and what I know of THEIR desire to improve.

Like yesterday, I worked with a veteran up. Been around about as long as me, doing the same levels of ball. I know from past experiences that no matter what I bring up he will have an excuse. Thus, I offer NOTHING to him. If he asks, I still don't offer anything (he hasn't asked in a couple of years now...LOL )

Now, on the other hand, about a week and half ago, I worked with a guy, about a 12th year guy. Does pretty good. Solid. Makes good decisions. I knew I didn't need to wait for him to ask for anything because I know he constantly is working on his craft. He listens carefully. Engages in meaningful discussion about what I bring up. He thanks me, and usually, the next time I see him work, he has worked on those things.

A couple of weeks ago, I worked with a guy who I think really needs a lot of work. In the past, I have offered up stuff to him, and he seems to take it well. But, what I noticed is that he has not changed one single thing yet! I know that other guys have said similar things to him, and yet, all these years later he still has some glaring problems. I can only think he does not care enough to change. So, even when he asks, I don't cover most things with him, because I know I would be wasting my breath.

So, I can only say that just be careful about what you offer up. I just know from experience that if a person is making excuses for what they did "wrong" or are not open to maybe improving their "style", they probably never will be. Also, if a guy has listened to what you say and agrees, yet next time you see them they are still doing/not doing that stuff, they probably don't care enough to work on it, and possibly you have not hit on their particular motivation factor to affect that change.

I am the type that I want it all from somebody. If I was doing something wrong, I for sure want to know about it. If somebody has a problem with my "style" I want to know that too! It is surprising how much you can learn about how you are percieved from seemingly little comments from the most unlikely of people!