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Originally Posted by Mark Dexter
I'm not Juulie, but I'd re-word this to be a bit less referee-speak. I'd probably start by saying that a moving screen is not in and of itself a foul. Then explain that contact must occur for a foul to be called and briefly describe what makes a legal/illegal screen.
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Billy, your change is a good improvement, but I'd go even further, or farther, depending on which English teacher you studied under. As Dexter said, I'd
start right off with the sentence "The moving screen is not in and of itself a foul, blah, blah, blah..." Or even give that item a sort-of title "13. Moving Screens. A screen can move sideways or even forward without being illegal..." and so on. This will attract the attention of the reader much more effectively than starting with a jargon-ish "blind screen".