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Originally Posted by jrreferee
I seem to be having some difficulty dealing with coaches who are constantly 'lipping' at the sidelines. I am a young female referee in my second year and have received positive comments from my superior referees and tournament directors on my abilities. I am still learning and have been offered some very nice opportunities to build on my skills. BUT, there are a couple of coaches in our house league who are not trained as referees, think they 'know it all' and make detrimental comments throughout the game. I try to block them out and grow a thicker skin but I'm wondering if anyone can give me some 'verbage' I can use to get them to stop. I have tried working with our club's head referee and he's been great but I don't want to keep going back and looking like a whiner. Any suggestions?
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Naturally, it all depends on what is being said. However, assuming this is common, ordinary griping and not any kind or level of abuse, what has worked for me and my teenage son who is a recently-new ref is,- at the first stoppage opportunity when you are near enough to the chirping coach that (s)he will definitely see and hear you - and preferably [but not necessarily] while (s)he is chirping:
1) Hold up the restart;
2) Laser-serious stare at the offender;
3) Hold up your hand in the "STOP" sign;
4) "Coach, that's enough - you coach and I'll make the calls as referee, OK?"
Do not do this quietly/ inobtrusively, you want everyone on his sideline to know that you have disciplined the coach. [It is NOT necessary that you be loud enough that the other team knows what you said, much less the spectators: but if they do, that is not a bad thing]
5) IMMEDIATELY turn & restart - do not entertain any discussion or comment.
6) IF Coach Puffbuttock continues in any way, or gives you any static at all about what you just said, whack him/her at once with a caution for dissent.
I very much doubt that you will have to do #6.