[ozzy6900]

Gentlemen, after reading all of these posts I did a search on all of the posts still in the database on this site that pertain to the Plate Meeting. I see that there is such a wide array of reasons as to why things need to be stated at the Plate Meeting.

I have therefore concluded that each game has its Plate Meeting at least 1 hour before game time. First there will be the blessing of the baseballs with incantations to the god Wokehmawanna. Then the umpires will call upon the sacred hailings of the prophet Ginga who really wrote the original rules interpretations that were stolen by Jaska & Roder after they defeated the under-lord Kalkaka, the devil that stole the soul of Ty Cobb.

The umpires will then unveil the proper rule book for that level of play and chant, in 2 part harmony, each and every rule in said book. This will be followed by discussions with the managers (wearing Viking headdress) as to how each rule will be enforced that day. Also, a copy of the "local rules" of the league needs to be explained in detail so that there is no question when a batter is "called out for throwing his bat" or a player is ejected for saying "Damn".

Umpires must also explain how the strike zone will be called for that game and what will be allowed in as far as balks or warnings - no, let's just give warnings because balks hurt the feelings of the players! When the Plate Meeting is concluded, there should be no arguments, ejections or questions because everything has been explained to everyone. Then there will be a Kool-aid toast to the god Melhalla to bring wisdom and knowledge to all who participated in the church service known as the Plate Meeting!

There, that should satisfy all of the imbeciles that need to have these outlandish Plate Meetings!