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Originally Posted by NCASAUmp
I pondered over this one for a few minutes after I posted my original reply, and it almost sounds like he was trying to give friendly advice (in poor fashion, of course). I can't tell tone from the OP, so that's pure speculation. Veteran coaches and umpires can always spot the rookies, so he could have just been trying to test her. Either way, he's still an idiot, and you did the right thing.
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Actually, all of his comments were directed at me, not her.
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Honestly, the whole time I was reading it, I kept imagining Hank Hill from "King of the Hill," trying to talk to an umpire. 
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You are closer than you know on that one.