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Originally Posted by Mountaineer
100% Agreement. I had a coach tell me once not to talk to his players when I was trying to tell the catcher to go correct something. Next pitch - IP . . . he came out mad and his catcher stepped in front of me and said "that's what he was trying to tell me to fix before you yelled at him!" He muttered something and went back to the dugout. She looked at me, smiled and said "Isn't part of my job to protect you? Besides, he's a jerk!"
Luckily, most coaches here don't mind you talking to their players. There are only about 30 softball only umps in my area and the top 10-15 are very well liked and respected by coaches, players and parents . . . and we have good relationships with them all. I was at a restaurant tonight with my kids and a player and her mom from a HS team came and sat down at our table and started giving me a good-natured hard time . . . very enjoyable. I'm glad we don't have a lot of coaches that are like you described, Mike.
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Same thing here, my friend. Last year I was on vacation with my wife and 9 year old niece. We were in a restaurant in the middle of Montana when 5 or 6 girls from a 14U team over there, along with a couple of their moms, came into the restaurant and sat at a table just across from us.
A couple of the girls kept staring at me...which made my wife uncomfortable. I told her they were probably softball players trying to figure out where they knew me...and sure enough, they were. They finally figured it out, came over and chatted for a while. One of the moms and my wife hit it off really well...so well we ended up with a great supper at their house one night, along with one of their coaches and her husband.
I know that it's not all kittens and rainbows, BUT there are some good folks out there from "the other side."
Yes, I know what some or maybe all of you are thinking. I've been criticized MANY times for being waaaay too close to some folks from that other side. I was asked last year whether I was doing something I was doing for the good of the ASA JO Commissioner or for the good of SMSUA (our umpires' association). Long story...and three days later was bypass day, so it wasn't a very big deal after all.
However, I work very hard to let everyone know there is the relationship I might have with someone away from the ball park, but out on the field I am the umpire and they are the coach/player/whatever. I have had spirited discussions/arguments with some of these folks...but I am NOT their enemy.
I am NOT their adversary when I umpire. I hope fewer umpires look at their roles as something of an adversary...but I also know too many who believe just that.