[BillyMac]

After intoductions and handshakes (I actually got a chest bump this season), I say, "Coaches, please be sure that your players are properly equipped and that they know how to wear their uniforms properly". Then I say, "Coaches and captains, my partner, Mr. Smith, and I will be emphasising proper sportmanship tonight".

Depending on my mood, I now go to one of two options:
Option #1: "We all (pointing to everybody in the group) have something in common, we all love the game of basketball. Please show respect for the game that we all love by respecting your opponents, your coaches, and the officials"
Option #2: Please note that my partner, Mr. Smith, and I are the only ones in this gym tonight who don't care who wins. Everyone else in this gym, the players, coaches, fans (I point to the crowd), and cheerleaders, want one of the teams to win. Mr. Smith and I don't care who wins. Please keep that in mind tonight as we make calls in this game".

I then ask my partner, the umpire, if he or she wants to add anything. Sometimes, in a girls game, to lighten the moment, I remind the captains that "if you're going to dunk, please don't hang on the rim, because we'll call a technical foul".

Notice that I don't ask for a "spokesman" captain. This was new for me this season. I'll talk to any player, captain or noncaptain, if they address me respectfully. Twenty-five years ago, there were captains or cocaptains. Now, there are tricaptains, quadcaptains, or once this season, quintcaptains. I've had colleagues ask if the "spokesman" captain was starting. This meeting was getting to be too complicated. With the coaches joining the meeting, the group got to be too large, especially with the loud music playing, so now I try to get the meeting over with as soon as possible.