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Originally Posted by RushmoreRef
Had a game this year and a coach wasn't happy about a call I made in the first half...3-person crew, so I report and go back....Now we're at the other end and I'm right in front of him....He's upset and I explain what I saw....he doesn't like the explanation and he's a stradling the line of the coaches box and I say this in a polite but firm manner.
"Coach that's enough, I need you in your box!"
He makes his way back into his box but then keeps at it and I say...
"Coach I need you to relax"...and he comes back with...
"YOU RELAX!!!"
Whack.....he's good after that for the rest of the game....
Down the road he tells one of my partners at another game that it was the weakest "T" he's ever gotten (He's gotten a lot), and that I instigated it. when I asked/told him to relax (which I'm confident I did in a proper voice tone).
Any comments??? Bad choice of words??? Too many words???
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Ehh...relax is usually construed as a loaded word...I would have avoided it.
As a general rule, I try and limit my words (and especially personal pronouns) as much as possible when dealing with a trouble coach. It's like you're a hostage negotiator...you want to be careful with your words so YOU are always the calm one.
"That's enough" with a level tone and a straight face usually suffices for me. Let HIM lose control...don't ever let yourself. Not saying you did, but your words could be construed as having lots of emotion, and IMO, as an official, you are like a judge...you always want to check your emotions at the door.