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Just a couple of points I don't think have been touched upon. First off, I also applaud you for learning the rules by talking to officials. More coaches should do that. In your post you make a comment about a us knowing more becuase we take a written test. Well yes, in preparing for the test we do learn the rules better than most coaches. In addiditon, almost everyone here attends camps, talks to evaluators, or is an evaluator so we work hard to learn how to apply those rules.
Next off, officials are a tight nit group. We will almost always side with an official over a coach. In your OP, it sounds like there might have been a foul that should have been called. It wasn't for some reason. The official gave you a reason why it wasn't called and that's the way it happened to the calling official.
Lastly, this is middle school basketball. As others have said, you probably aren't getting the cream of the crop as far as officals. This is true. Another thing I hope you can understand is that there is nothing more difficult to do fairly than junior high basketball. The players don't understand the game, they don't have the basketball skills, and they don't have great overall athletic skills. You might have a couple of players that play a lot and can be officiated easily, but there will also be a few on the floor that haven't touched a basketball outside of playing at recess. Let me assure as an official that used to work that level, it is by far the most difficult job in officiating.
Thanks for the questions and I hope you will continue to pick our minds and take our judgement and rules knowledge to help you grow as a coach.
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