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Originally Posted by Snaqwells
I think part of the problem is people read what you wrote and make assumptions about what you meant. I think we've all been there in 7th grade games; you realize if you call everything, you're going to be there all day. What's more, the kids aren't going to learn how to play if you call every travel and double dribble and foul. Your bar for "advantage" goes up a bit sometimes.
That said, saying it the way you did insinuates that you just want to get in and get out with your check. I know you well enough through this forum to know that's not your schtick; so I figured you weren't letting felonies go for the sake of staying on schedule.
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So maybe I just didn't word it very well? I'll try again. I was "letting them play." I was "holding the whistle". I was "adjusting to my partner". I was "looking for the A/D". I was "trying to be in control without being controlling". The reason I was doing this was because that's how my partner, who I was trying to help by filling in, told me they do it. I was "adjusting to fit into the prevailing culture -- trying to call it the way the assignor wants it called." It wasn't a problem in the first game, we called what needed calling, and we got done in a good time with no one too ticked off. Somehow the second game was different. Will I do it again? No way. I compromised on my style and "my game", but I don't think I compromised my morals or ethics. I wasn't "selling out The Game". It wasn't "immoral". It also wasn't comfortable or pleasant, and I don't want to be in that situation again.
It wasn't "take the check and run." In fact, my partner and I stayed and talked about the situation for quite a while afterward during the next game. He's a top notch ref, and I wanted to know how he could let so much go and feel okay about it. It was a valuable learning experience. Although I've learned more I expected after sharing here!!