Being around HS students working games frequently reminds me why I'm so glad that I'm not in HS any more. And reading your original post reminds me why I'm so glad I got through my first couple of years.
Being a rookie is tough. Setting aside those, hopefully few, idiot partners (hey, what else can you really do, you can't fix 'em!), just learning to do the job takes time and patience. You will make a lot of mistakes. You will look at a lot of plays and just scratch your head and wonder what you should have called or done. You'll look at plays and realize too late what you should have called. You will hear reactions from players/coaches/fans at something you called or no-called and wonder what game they are watching. Actually, that part never really goes away.
All the while, you'll be getting better at calling stuff that you previously missed, or mishandled, or just plain screwed up. Little by little, game by game, you'll get better.
And once you get the T thing sorted out, and learn when and how to use it effectively, you'll find that you get more respect, and coaches will begin to pick their battles more intelligently. Or could it be that by that time most coaches will have seen you and come to accept you more anyway. Kind of a chicken and egg thing for rookies.
Then, every once in a while you'll get a game where there is a lot of stuff that you've gotten good at, and nothing much that you're not good at yet, and you'll walk away feeling like you completely nailed that game. You won't be able to stop grinning for days. It'll remind you once again why we do this...
BECAUSE IT'S FUN!
So stick with it. Hang in there. Keep working hard. Find something that motivates you (perhaps even the thought of passing up all those D-level officials who made your life difficult in the early days), and keep on keepin' on.
And like Rainmaker alluded to, this time of year it just gets more intense. Around here, and I assume it's similar in most areas, we're just starting region play. Now it's for real. All the games up to this point were to get the teams ready for region. Region win/loss records determine who moves on. You get more rivalry games, the intensity goes up, and sometimes the ugly comes out.
Case in point, before this week, I have not had a single non-administrative T in any of my games. This week, I've had five. Three have been on players, two on coaches. Three were in one game. In both coach cases, I've warned and then (shortly) T'd, and the game became significantly better. I think you'll find equally remarkable results.
As for the whole to-stop-sign-or-not-to-stop-sign debate, new officials should absolutely make the stop sign a part of their bag of tools for controlling coaches. Inexperienced officials usually take too much crap. And then only T when they're completely frustrated and fed up with a coach. They haven't learned the skills of how to deal with coaches in the time between when the behavior starts and the T is warranted. Using the stop sign gives you a tool to use in that space. But if the coach runs the stop sign, T him immediately. And if the behavior has no "escalation," if it is immediately over the line, whack without warning.
Bottom line, stick with it. It'll get better.