For whatever reason the bench decorum from the HS leagues I officiate has never been a real problem (knock on wood). The very few times I've had to address it I do it the on the very first instance. I've only had to T one assistant coach during my HS career.
All my major bench decorum problems come during AAU ball. In the AAU setting I address the first transgression directly to the perpetrator in a very loud tone and I make sure the head coach hears it and the words I use are not the friendliest. If there is a 2nd transgression I tell (I do not ask) the head coach he needs to controls his bench. I've never had a 3rd transgression.
