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I'm going to talk about high school ball, because I suspect the answer is different for college ball. And my answer would be that a person probably can be very good at both hs boys and hs girls, as long as that person doesn't think or try to act as though they're the same. The girls' game and the boys' game are clearly much different -- at least it seems clear to me and I've done a lot of both, but the ref that's willing to work at each, and make the adjustments from one game to the next can certainly do well at both.
What frustrates me is the high level boys ref who troops into the girls' tournament and does a hack job on that game. That person might be the best ref in the state, and deserve the boys' final, but that's no guarantee that he or she will be skilled at the girls' style. But that person certainly COULD be excellent at both, but not without working at both, and really seeing and understanding the differences.
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