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In calling balls and strikes,it is generally most accepted to bring the pitch down or up into the strike zone, and widen it out, making sure to give a good corner. The bench and spectators can see whether the pitch is too high or too low, however, they can not tell whether it passed over the plate.
The strike zone IS whatever is called! You just gotta be consistant. A 10U "C" class rec strike zone ain't gonna look like a D1 zone. I had a JV game about 2 months ago where niether team had a pitcher. The coaches tried everybody. In the second inning, (we only got in three) when a batter came up I would tell them if you can reach it with the bat, you better swing because I'm calling it! Very few were "reachable" even on tiptoes!
There has to be some lattitude given to the umpire. After all, balls and strikes are a "judgement call" The definition that ASA gives works, but it is the umpires judgement as to where the ball crossed, and also what is a "natural batting stance?" There are also some games where the coaches will ask to open the zone (story above).
A good strike zone (IMO) will also not be learned nor dictated by a book. Guidelines may be drawn, but a good strike zone will only come with experience, and much self evaluation.
You said about the old guy---"So far he has not changed the outcome of a game."---- sounds like he may have a pretty good grasp!
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