As someone who has been on the Board of a rec league for 14 years, let me give you some advice. It is imperative you have a talk with the coach before the game. And no - you don't need to talk with both coaches as you would at a higher level for appearances. This team has strayed from the purpose of the league, which is(if it's anything like most other leagues of this nature)to have the kids have fun, learn sportsmanship, learn teamwork and respect for others (including authority) and to improve their skills.
Remind the coach that this is the purpose of why they're playing the game in the first place and that you and your partner are going to make sure this is how the game tonight will be viewed by you and him. Tell the coach to inform his players to cut out the taunting of the other team, the whining on the calls and the rough play. Also tell him you will hold him to the standard of leading by example. Impress upon him that if he and his kids can't adhere to the principles of the league, you are going to call the game.
Be authoritative with this guy, because it seems he and his team both need some structure. Then, right from the opening tip, call the game tight and don't hesitate to call a T or two. The kids will either get the message or, if they are really immature, just pout. If the latter is the case, there's not much you could have done anyway.
BTW - how are these teams formed that the same kids are together two years in a row without any improvement? In our league, all teams are drafted every year. We have a pretty good record (although not perfect) of achieving parity among teams. It makes for a much better experience for each kid, and that's the bottom line.
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Yom HaShoah
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