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Originally Posted by Dan_ref
As a former youth coach I can tell you I never started a game without knowing the tournament rules (including number of TOs) and kept a close eye on the official scorer if he came from the other team. I don't know why it's so hard for a coach to make a ticky mark on a napkin every time he takes a TO, even if he is the only adult with his team.
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You're right of course, when we're talking about a reasonably alert and emotionally mature adult who knows and understands basketball (I'm not saying I think you are all those things, just that I'm assuming that's what you are talking about). But that assumption gets very iffy in a lot of 9th grade ball, especially if it's girls. In the OP, I"d do just what he did, and also give the scorekeeper a little "chat" about being very careful what she says. If I heard the coach ask the scorekeeper, and the scorekeeper respond, I'd be inclined to interfere in that conversation, to be sure the info is correct.
But I'd be especially unhappy with coach A who wants his parent-book-person to be not held accountable for her error, which helps him. "Coach, you and I both know she wasn't deliberately wrong, and that she's doing the best she can to be fair to both teams. Let's you and I also adopt that attitude and let her off the hook so that she doesn't end up making you look bad." Or, "Coach, what if the shoe was on the other foot? What if she was a parent from team B, and she told you you had an extra TO that you didn't have? You'd be very unwilling to give Team B shots, eh?"