[greymule]

You handled the coach well. As far as the lady in the parking lot goes—

Don't say you're sorry for anything.

Don't give her any e-mail addresses.

Don't talk about any aspect of the game you just officiated.

If you feel you must talk to her, refer her to someone who can help her get started on her umpiring career.

And as for the coach who said he wants a zone that's "shoulder to knee," call a shoulder-high strike on one of his players and see whether he really means what he said.