HSM aside... it's story time.
At an Umpire Development Clinic we held a couple years ago, one of our new umps showed up ready to work the plate. Here's a rundown of his equipment:
1. Mask
2. Chest protector
3. shins
4. cup
5. Plate shoes
6. That little plastic insert from +POS to put in your hats to keep them from getting crushed in your bag. He thought it was a hidden skull cap special for umpires but said he had to send it back for a bigger size!
I almost pi$$ed my pants I laughed so hard!