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Dealing with coaches for me is one of the hardest things to do. I don't want to just ignore them all night, although I don't want to talk to them all night as well. One big thing is knowing your audience. If you know the personality of the coach then you can figure out how to appeal to their ego and let's face it all coaches have ego's.
If you believe that there was contact, but let it go because the player played through it then I would let the coach say something as long as it was in a good tone. Now if he is still talking about the play on the second and third trip down, then I would address it because he is going to start thinking that he can do that all night long and get away with it. I would probably just respond with "Coach I hear what you're saying but I feel I had a good look at the play and I didn't feel that paticular play warranted a whistle". I am sure you would get a response back from the coach and then you could either say,"Coach let's move on" or "If you saw it that way coach than I might have missed it". You should never try to be the winner in conflict resolution. You are there to diffuse it. With some coaches that is giving a T and with some it is talking to them and for some it is saying nothing at all.
Here are some attributes and basics of good responding:
1. Have an aura of control. Don't approach the coach like you are going to "handle" him, but with body language, mechanics and non-abrasive signals you can prove to the coach that "hey the game is not here for me, I am here for the game, but I have good control of it"
2. Avoid being defensive. This is one of the hardest things to do for me. If a coach asks you a question. Answer that question. Here is an example of what NOT to do. EX:
COACH: Hey Bill you are not allowed to put a forearm on a player and reroute them are you?
REFEREE: Bob I didn't think your player re-routed them.
Primetime no no. Here is how I think it should have went with the coach asking the same thing:
REFEREE: No they can't
The coach here might either concede and feel like he won this battle because he knows you know what play he was talking about, and that's is fine, we do know what play he is talking about and we are not there to debate with him. Then again the coach might ask about that particular play and then you just tell him and try to move on.
3. Be the voice of reason. Don't be a baiter. Don't try to the coach mad enough where you are going to have to give him a Technical. Try and talk the coach down unless you know he is wanting one, in which you give it a little more time to develop where the whole entire crowd can see that he deserves one.
4. Try and give people and chance to come down. If we have a big bang bang play, and it didn't go the coaches way, sit back and just witness what happens and evaluate the play that you just had. Basketball is an emotional game. Emotions run high sometimes. Coaches deserve to get emotional sometimes. Once again if he keeps harping address it. It was a hard play.
5.Recognize the level of tension or anger. Enough said. If you always have a feel of how tense the coach and the players are you will know most of the time how to deal with situation.
6.Defuse Animosity. Let's face it coaches think we are satan's spawn sent here to make their life a living hell. How do we defuse that. By getting our plays right, and creating a professional friendship and trust between us and the coaches. If you can get the coach to trust you, you have won half the battle, plus you have gained yourself a little bit of credibility. Also, with gaining that friendship, I believe it makes it easier if you refer to the coach by his name, that is if you know both coaches names. It makes it that much more interactive, then if I just refer to him as a title. Everybody who is in charge of a team is a coach, but there are fewer Jim's and Mike's. He has his own identity now and might feel that we just don't see him as another "it" or "thing" that is there just to complicate our night.
7. Always maintain your dignity. Don't let a coach berate you, or one of your partners in front of everybody. Everybody has seen and knows what he deserves, keep your dignity and T him up. At the same time, keep your dignity, in regards to not going off on the coach. If you feel your temperature rising and you can't give him a T without making it look like, there was no other reason to give it to him other than it was warranted and hence you have already forgot about, then just switch with a partner and let him handle it for a while. That is just good partnering.
8. Lastly demonstrate empathy and respect for the coach and the players. Try and put yourself in their shoes. For the most part players play like each game is their last and that it is for the state championship, and coaches coach and try to win because alot of times their job depends on how many they have in the win column.
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