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smurf -- prepare yourself for the onslaught of responses that may not be very appealing to you (this forum has not provided much sympathy for previous posters expressing similar thoughts).....
The short answer to your question is that there is not much you can do. A very large percentage of rules are subject to the judgement of the official. Not everything is as black and white as the pages of the rule book. You ask "why is there even any interpretation allowed?" You do realize, of course, that virtually everything in life is open to interpretation, right? For example: was the death a homicide or self-defense?; is it O.K. to run a red light while driving to the hospital because your wife is giving birth in the seat next to you?; or you left the office early without telling your boss because you just learned of a security incident at your childs' school? Those are certainly extreme examples, but they all are violations of some set of rules that would require some punishment by someone. In a basketball game, not all contact is a foul, a travel may not have been called because the defender pushed the ball handler, or a charge may have been called only because it was similar to a play earlier in the game.
Clearly officials make mistakes - whether mechanically, in rules application, or in judgement. Some officials make more mistakes than others. While the expectation is that officials shouldn't make mistakes or make "wrong" calls - I certainly hope you realize that this is an unrealistic expectation. Generally speaking, the quality of officiating usually improves as the level of play/talent level increases (think middle schl, HS, college, NBA, etc).
Another aspect to consider is the professional knowledge that you and other parents (even coaches) posses when judging whether a mistake has been made or not. I would not be able to tell someone with a specifc knowledge base (like an accountant, doctor, etc) he is wrong and have a high degree of accuracy in my assessment. Officials routinely are surprised at the lack of rule knowledge that parents and coaches possess while telling us we're wrong.
Having said all that, if you objectively watch basketball games, it will take you a while to find a game in which the outcome is adversely affected by officiating. It does happen, but an extremely small percentage of the time. Generally speaking, teams and fans focus on a mistake that may have been made instead of their own actions, or lack thereof, that determines the outcome. (By the way - TOO many people pin the blame on others for results that they are not happy with in real life. Parental attitudes towards athletics definitely help foster that mindset in kids.) There are generally lots of missed opportunities by teams during a game that go unscrutinized upon post-game reflection.
Rather than placing blame on others, encourage the players to discover what they could have done differently to achieve a different result. Good players do that. Good officials do that. Successful people do that.
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