[greymule]

About a month ago, I stopped by to watch the 12u LL District tournament. I noticed that the umps were two guys I often worked ASA with. I also observed that, despite the media hype, the level of play fell somewhere between rec league and gym class; it bore no relation to 12u travel ball. (Apparently, the good players are on the travel teams.)

But it was the coach of one team that really caught my attention.

First play I see: Roller toward 1B. F1 picks it up and throws to F3 just in time. BU is in excellent position and makes an out call that would have pleased any clinic director. But the coach slams his clipboard against the fence and says, "Hey, ump, you gotta get out there!" (Get out there? He was out there, right where he was supposed to be.) Then coach goes out toward 1B and repeats, "You gotta get out there!" and then "You gotta make that call!" So the BU responds, "Coach, I was out there, and I did make the call."

From then on, it was constant whining, usually not loud enough for either ump to hear. The guy kept looking toward his stands, making gestures of exasperation and spewing comments like, "This guy's so inconsistent." "Where did they get these guys?" "Oh, now the plate's got corners! When we're up."

Again, this is playground-level ball. And both umpires are veterans who routinely do high school varsity and high-level travel. I noticed nothing unusual about any of their calls.

I was naturally hoping this guy would lose, but the opponents couldn't execute on the dribblers his team was hitting, and what had been a close game eventually got out of hand. So with a big lead and only one inning to go, coach watches his batter hit a pop to F4. Little girl calls for it but is obviously battling the ball, and just before it hits her glove, this coach yells, "Boot!"

Now I am not a violent man, but I confess that had a picture in my mind of this coach lying, a bloody pulp, under the left front wheel of my car.