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The thing to do in summer, I think, is to try to work to the more strict end of the acceptable style of reffing in your area. What I mean is, you don't want to necessarily be the most strict ref in the city, but maybe the third or fourth most strict. Being firm, and consistent, does help keep control of any game that can be controlled (Rut is right that sometimes your best effort is "irrelevant"), and even if the kids or the coaches complain some, you're better off being firm, as long as it's the same for both teams. But you don't want to be a complete tight-azz, if everyone else in your area is basically letting everything go. You have to fit in to some extent.
As far as your specific call when the kid grabbed the basket, I think I'd have let it go, unless he was doing a pull up. Even during the season, unless you've been told specifically otherwise, I think you can afford to let a lot of basket contact go, as long as the ball goes through, and as long as it's not grandstanding or playing around. But who you should really ask would be your assignor, or association rules interpreter. They're the ones who "call the shots" in your area, and whose rules you need to follow most closely.
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