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Originally Posted by Jurassic Referee
I don't agree with these three;
4) I don't believe in running away from confrontations. Handle the situations when they arise; don't run away from them.
7) It depends solely on what the coach actually says, same as if he was standing. Abuse is abuse, no matter what position it comes from, and it shouldn't be ignored simply because it is quiet and comes from a sitting coach.
8) Asking a coach to "help you out" is patently ridiculous too imo. Coaches couldn't really give a damn less whether they're helping us out or not. If you want to tell the coach the truth, that his assistant is gonna cost him, that's OK. The other way though, you're just running away from your own responsibility to keep the the benches under control.
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The list was presented (I was not the originator of it) so that any official that hasn't seen these, can help them in determining some lines which could result in a T being delivered. It is up to each official to evaluate those situations and what kind of message they want to send. Every situation is different.
As officials, we have either been in, or heard of officials that failed to take control of a situation and they regret not handling it. Hopefully the list can help at least one official here.
Pertaining to the specific points made:
4) I agree, but also we can choose when we want to address a coach's question, especially if the current play in front of me needs me more than the question. By being a step or two away, the coach has a harder time delivering cheap shots that they don't want heard. There are also officials out there that try to show up coaches by just being in front of them constantly, to the point where the coach feels like the official is sticking it to them. A little distance can be valuable to both parties.
7) By no means do I tolerate abuse, if its there, do what you gotta do. I have found out at higher levels that if you are in the wheelhouse of a coach and they say something only you can hear, it is your word against theirs and videotape won't help. I'll go so far as to mention a previous discussion when coach says something that is believed to be racist in nature, it greatly enhances the officials side of the story if the coach had to be louder so that the official(s) could hear it.
8) This is a game management technique that has worked for me. An assistant coach that can recognize when the head coach is getting unwanted attention from the referees is worth it, afterall, they don't get to do too much else. In my situation, an asst. who knew me fairly well noticed that his head coach had drawn my attention (because he was about to cross a line with me). When I looked in the direction of the bench, he immediately grabbed the coach and let him know that he was close to hurting his team. The coach stopped for a moment and returned to coaching.