[bkbjones]

This happened a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. Names have been changed to protect the guilty, but it's a true story.

12u non-championship play. Birds are playing the Fish. Fred is on the bases. Fred's been umpiring a long time, but not girls fastpitch. It's Saturday and teams are gonna be moving into bracket play on Sunday. This pool is already set. Birds are visitors. Fish decide to let this girl pitch who hasn't pitched in a game all year. Fish pitcher has trouble throwing strikes, and her strikes are hit into the gap.

Birds score 8 runs. Birds batter, Penelope, gets on base. She's never stolen a base in her life. First pitch, she's off and steals second. All grins, everyone on the team cheering for her.

"This is a bunch of spit," Fred says under his breath as he cleans off the base. "You don't do that in a game like this. Just flippin ridiculous."

Unfortunately, Penelope heard every word. Her smiles and laughter have turned to crying. Coach has to call time to go talk to his player. Big brouhaha, of course. Only one ejection resulted, and that was the ejection of Fred.

Oh, by the way, score ended up Birds winning 12-11.